A few days illness that have done me the world of no good.
Here's a bit of conversation that does little to bolster my faith in the medical profession.
Doctor: "Have you had any operations lately?"
Self: "Well, I had a heart bypass about 18 months ago."
(A little later)
Doctor: "Have you ever had any heart trouble?"
(Later doctor lifts gown, revealing bypass scar)
Doctor: "What's this scar?"

In the course of answering the same questions over from various doctors and nurses I came to the conclusion that there is a "Diagnosis for Dummies" handbook to which they all refer. This contains a series of questions for all occasions which includes "On a scale of one to ten how would you rate your pain?" The honest answer is "I don't know, I can't measure pain" but you have to think of a number and blurt it out.
I'm now approaching the conclusion that the diagnostician looks at the patient, decides what's wrong, then asks the questions that elicit answers that confirm the premature diagnosis. I lost count of the times I was asked about my diarrhoea - is it better? is it worse? At first I answered honestly "Well I don't actually have diarrhoea", but to no avail, the diarrhoea question was repeated until I gave an acceptable answer, "It's much better, no problem". Still I had to revisit that question and assure them of my complete recovery from a condition that I hadn't experienced. I believe they were treating me for dehydration, but I wasn't dehydrated.
Never mind, it did no harm.