"The thing about the England of recent years is that even when you think you have seen it all, they always find a way of disappointing you further. Only days ago, the sheer scale of the trust-building task was once again underscored by the tale of the gold-plated Frank Lampard iPods. Have you heard this one? Let me summarise: 5,000 gold-plated iPods bearing Frank Lampard's lasered signature are to be melted down after demand for the £599 product failed to materialise in the wake of the World Cup. Do take a moment to digest those details."
...
"If you had to distil the very essence of hubris into a single product, you would surely be left with a gold-plated Frank Lampard iPod. The fact that the brainwave was created in association with a firm backed on Dragon's Den merely crystallises the cloth-brained, soul-sapping nullity of the age in which we are doomed to live."

(Marina Hyde)

I believe you can get a Chelsea shirt emblazoned with Frank's name and the number 8 for about £55.